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"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of."
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"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."
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"We not only need to work happy, we need to work at being happy."
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"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back."
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"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."
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"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
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"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
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"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."
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"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
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"To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential."
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"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it."
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"If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it."
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"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
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"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
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"I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander."
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"There is a child inside each one of us, who comes out in front of the person we are most comfortable with."
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"Being single is better than being in a relationship with someone who fills your heart with doubt."
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"America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight."
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"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."
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"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
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"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible."
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"How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is clearly Ocean."
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"Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for."
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"He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have."
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"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing."
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"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."
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"Some people never go crazy, what truly horrible lives they must live."
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"To tell someone not to be emotional is to tell them to be dead."
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"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."
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